What is it about the nation of Islam that pisses-off America so much?  After giving this issue much thought, I think I may have developed a reasonable theory. 

First of all, most Americans are not too bright.  You disagree?  Let me remind you that Americans have proven conclusively that “we ain’t too damn smart”.  After all,  polls show that Oprah Winfrey is one of the most admired Americans.  Marion Berry was RE-ELECTED Mayor of Washington, D.C. after he was video taped and busted by the FBI for…    smoking crack.  We approved a deal that makes the labor unions the second largest stockholder of General Motors, behind only the federal government itself.  I could go on, but there are too many examples and it’s too depressing. 

Suffice to say, if the average American had a few more brain cells, we could qualify as cabbage.  As such, we are easily confused.  And that is the fundamental reason that Islam is so enigmatic, so mysterious, so contradictory, so abstruse, so inscrutable, and so frustrating  (I see I have lost a few of you already – sorry). Americans like simplicity, predictability, compliance, parity, uniformity, and congruity (oops, there goes a few more – sorry).

Let me give you an example.  There was an article in this morning’s paper that reported that American and Pakistan troops had destroyed an “Islamic training camp” that had been used for training suicide bombers.  Now you see, right there, the average American would become confused. 

How much training does it take to become a suicide bomber?

Abdul:  “OK  Shamal, hold this bomb and push this button.”

Shamal:  “Got it.  Hug my mom and eat this mutton.”

Abdul:  “No, no, you moron, hold the bomb in your hand and give the button a good push.”

Shamal:  “No problem, get a handful of sand, and scratch my tush.”

Abdul:  “Well, it’s off to training camp for you, my brother.”

Confusing and frustrating to Americans.  And, Lord knows, we don’t like what we don’t understand.  Take for example, the “Holy City” thing.  Have you ever read an article about any Arab city,  town, village, group of tents, or camel watering hole that had a name that did NOT start with the phrase “the Holy City of _____”?  Apparently, in Islamic dominated countries, they don’t have any other kind.  For Americans, it might be the equivalent of something like this:

Dad:  “OK  little Johnny, we’re off on our summer vacation.”

Johnny:  “I’m so excited, Dad, where are we going?”

Dad:  “We’re going to the Holy City of Tuscaloosa, son.  We’ll visit the Holy Shrine at Bear Bryant Stadium before we depart for the Holy City of Ft. Wayne.”

Johnny:  “Too cool!  And maybe next year, we can visit the Holy City of Las Vegas!”

You can see why Americans get so exasperated at the continuing flood of this irrational crap coming from Islamic nations, that all we want to do is blow’em all to hell.  Imagine three billion teenage girls having their first period and issuing them all AK-47′s and you can understand what it’s like trying to reason with these folks. 

The U.S. military base in Kabul issued a “five-day weather forecast”  recently for the Taliban occupied zones of Iraq.  The forecast?  “Two days”.  Sounds like a plan.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo