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Let me say this about that.

Personally, I don’t care for Canadians.  They are a sneaky lot, and I think they are up to something.  America has been in wars all over the world, but I am convinced the biggest threat to our national security lies in Canada. 

To begin with, the border separating the United States and Canada is largely unguarded.  What little security that exists has more holes than a chain-link fence.  Canadians and their allies – THE FRENCH – can simply stroll into this country as easily as walking into a Wal-Mart.

I’ll tell you why I think the Canucks are up to no good ….. their language has an embedded secret code.  Take, for example, …    “Canadian Bacon.”  Canadian bacon isn’t bacon, it’s ham.  They eat “Chips” with their hamburgers that are really French Fries (another deception to disguise their alliance with the French).  Ask any Canadian shop owner for a bag of potato chips and he’ll hand you something with “Crisps” written on the bag. 

Wait, there’s more.  They have something up there they call “Canadian Club”.  Ask any Canadian how one might join this club, and he will look at you like you have just stepped in dog poop.  But, I’m telling you, there is something afoot with this “Canadian Club”.  My personal opinion is that it is a secret society akin to the KKK, or Nazi Party,  or some nutball Islamic terrorist cell.

Want more proof that there is something sneaky going on up there?  How about the “Royal Canadian Mountees”?  Who, exactly, are these “Mountees”?  Presumably, if there are “Mount-ees”, there are also “Royal Canadian Mount-ers.”  My theory is that the Mountees are poor Canadian women who are being abused by the Mounters – whom I suspect are really the French.

All starting to make sense now, isn’t it?

Fortunately, here in the good ‘ol U. S. of A., we have a crack organization that has been remarkably effective in uncovering covert plots against America.  They are the cast of a nationally syndicated TV program called “The View”.   These ladies are remarkable!!  They, totally on their own, discovered the fact that Dick Cheney ordered the U.S. Air Force to bomb the New Orleans levees during Hurricane Katrina.  Amazing!!!  One of these brainiacs also revealed that a spirit confirmed her suspicions that George Bush  fired the rockets that took out the Twin Towers on 9/11.

So, when I need confirmation of a plot against Americans, I go straight to the experts.  I contacted the cast of “The View”  just as they were being released from “Area 51″ where they told me they were held by the CIA for three days.  They reported that CIA physicians had injected them repeatedly with a powerful substance called “Common Sense”.  But, even after multiple injections, they were totally unaffected and released.

Here is where the plot thickens.  “The View” ladies told me that a conspiracy by Canadians was completely idiotic as there was not a scrap of hard evidence to prove it.  Frankly, I’m beginning to wonder if  “The View”  ladies aren’t really the evil offspring of the Canadian Mountees and their French Mounters.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo